These toes are all Cohen. Courtesy of my Dad. My poor pinkies never stood a chance. Now Lauren, I know you're still a growing girl. But don't harbor any illusion that your pinkie toes will ever amount to anything more than sorry little nubs. Technicians in nail salons will curse the size of your practically nonexistent nails (Not to you. To their colleagues. And usually not in English). So be prepared to tip very well. It will be the only hope you have of staying on their good sides and continuing to receive rockin' foot massages (which are highly underrated, I assure you). And in about 15 years, when you are swooning over swanky, super narrow stilettos? By that time, I'm sure you won't be interested in listening to your Mom, but please, please try to heed this piece of advice, my sweet child: Fuggedaboutit.
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