When a Boy Loves a Girl (and vice versa)

Lauren brought home a special piece of artwork from school this week. Behold:



I welled up at first, so touched at her utter sweetness, her ability to love so purely and without reservation. This girl teaches me so much every day.

Then we found out she didn't make this. Nor was it given to her by one of her little girl friends in the class. No.

It was made by a boy. And presented to our Lauren.

Um, not so okay with that.

You remember Toby, her crush from last year in pre-K, right? We thought this whole boy-crazy thing was just a phase and in fact, she didn't see or mention Toby all summer. But lately, at the supermarket, she's been checking out the teen mags while we shop, and seems to be particularly obsessed with any magazine that has a photo of Justin Bieber ("it's Beaver, Mom!!!", she repeatedly admonishes).

Case in point a couple of weekends ago:



Then, on Tuesday, she flys through the door after school, joyfully shows us her love note and proudly proclaims: "I have a boyfriend."

Crap. At 5? Are you kidding me?

Running through about 12 scenarios in my head as to how this conversation could go, I went with what I considered to be the safest possible question - "Who is it?"

Her eyes lowered and lashes began to flutter (I kid you not), then smiling her beautific smile (sans 2 front teeth, of course), she whispered, "Sam."

I swear, at that moment it was as if she were Cinderella with birds chirping and fluttering around her head.

Then came the knockout punch. "And he kissed me. Twice."

Thankfully, it was only on the cheek, but you'd better believe that she and I had a serious girl talk that night about what it means to have a friend who's a boy at age 5, and how she should wait to kiss anyone other than family before she's way more grown up. "Like as old as cousin Jessica?", she asked. "Or older", I said. I don't want to think about her kissing boys before she's at least 17 or 18, and I'm sure Norm would rather it be 30. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I want her to feel completely comfortable to tell us anything and everything about her feelings and what happens in her blessed little life.

I remember having my first boyfriend in the 2nd grade. Garrett Lines. He made me a ring out of bendy wire. He never kissed me, but we may have held hands. Once. At my second grade birthday party, he was the only boy there. There's a photo of me from that party eating cake with my friends, smiling my goofy toothless smile, and beaming from ear to ear because he was there (must find it and have it scanned!).

And while I don't have stories to tell about Norm's childhood crushes, knowing who he is, I can almost bet he fell just as hard for a girl or two while in grade school. With reckless abandon. And I do love that quality about him.

So I suppose the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. And I wouldn't change who she is for the world.

Love is a fragile, amazing thing that gets complicated by grown-up problems. But that doesn't mean we should stop believing in it and how powerful it can be. For Lauren right now, it's all about love notes, little glances, and kisses on the cheek. Simple, pure and easy. I kinda like that approach. Taking a lesson from my 5-year-old? You betcha.